In the forgotten Valley of Vukul’Mahr—known locally as “That Place with the Weird Smell”—Biff and Cliff made a discovery that would change theme park history forever: ancient mystical ruins filled with cryptic carvings, ominous statues, and a gift shop somehow still fully stocked.

Naturally, they bulldozed everything and built a roller coaster.

Inspired loosely—very loosely—by Revenge of the Mummy in Orlando, their creation offered all the thrills of the original, minus the budget, the safety standards, and the structural integrity. Guests would board backward, because Biff insisted that “fear works better when you can’t see where you’re going,” and Cliff backed him up because he thought “backward” was easier to spell on the signs.

The ride boasted:

A flaming tunnel, except the fire was replaced with three interns shaking orange tissue paper.

A swarm of scarabs, recreated with repurposed Roombas covered in googly eyes.

An ancient curse, mostly Cliff yelling from behind a curtain with a megaphone.

A launch sequence, powered by gravity, hope, and one very confused donkey on a treadmill.

Legend says the spirits of the ruins were so offended they tried to curse the ride… but left halfway through because the queue line was too long.

Biff and Cliff named their masterpiece “Revenge of the Mummy’s Cousin Twice Removed,” because the lawyers sent a strongly worded letter.

And thus, the backwards nightmare-coaster became the crown jewel of their park—equal parts terrifying, confusing, and strangely sticky. But guests kept coming, because deep down… everyone loves a little danger mixed with poor decision-making.

(None of this is based on the actual build)