[BEGIN TRANSMISSION]

Congratulations, thrill seeker, on receiving and decrypting this broadcast! You are cordially invited to an evening at CAP'N LEGBOOT'S BOOTLEG FUNFAIR. Experience frivolity and thrills free from the tyrrany of amusement ride safety regulations and food & health standards.

Tonight's funfair is in Eastshore on the banks of Halberstram Sound. Proceed to 224 Dorsia Road to the Allen residence. DO NOT KNOCK ON THE DOOR OF THIS RESIDENCE. Instead, sneak through the back yard, pass through the gap in Allen's fence and descend the cliffs to arrive at the funfair.

As I - Cap'n Legboot himself - record this transmission, me and my salty crew are hard at work unpacking and building the funfair. The most extreme thrill seekers will love CANNONBALL - it's a real blast! Folks of all ages will enjoy SUNCHASER, the CRAZY KARTS, and our crane-operated ZIPPER! The kiddos will love the very boring SEA SPIN.

CAP'N LEGBOOT'S BOOTLEG FUNFAIR is predominatly based in international waters and has been convicted of no crimes. Pay no mind to any rumors of pending class-action lawsuits. Pay no heed to the warrant for the arrest of Cap'n Legboot - formerly known as Cornelius "Two Legs" Jones - regarding the accident that led to the closure of Safety World. Cap'n Legboot offers condolences to the victims of the alleged wacky worm attack, but he claims no liability for any alleged incidents. Hearsay has no place at the FUNFAIR!

Before you leave, be sure to pick up a card with our next broadcast decryption key. DO NOT SHARE THIS WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICIALS. The next transmission will disclose the funfair's next location.

[END TRANSMISSION]



(Cannonball is the contest coaster)
Special thanks to timmy tuner for some helpful feedback